Childhood, Rewired: Growing Up in the Digital Age
Written by Mariann Csoma
If you’re a parent today, technology probably comes up in daily conversations and even negotiations with your child. How long should they play video games? How do they handle social media? When should they get their first smartphone? These questions are now part of family life and can often lead to disagreements.
But these daily challenges are just one part of a bigger change. For years, parents and schools have been figuring out how to keep up with new technology. Many adults didn’t grow up with it and have had to learn as they go. One thing is clear: the digital world isn’t going anywhere. Technology has opened new ways to learn, communicate, and find information. We quickly saw the benefits, but it took longer to notice the downsides. In many ways, it took a whole generation growing up before we really understood how the digital revolution affects young people. As Professor Jonathan Haidt says, we have put children through what he calls “the largest uncontrolled experiment humanity has ever performed on its own children.”¹
This might sound worrying, and the rapid growth of AI makes the digital world more complicated. Children are growing up in this environment, so the challenge is to keep them safe while helping them become confident digital citizens.
How did we get here?
To see how we reached this point, we just need to look back about 30 years. Gen Z, born between 1995 and 2010, was the first generation to go through their teenage years with nearly unlimited access to the digital world. They were the first to grow up always seeing posts from friends, acquaintances, and faraway influencers. Watching user-made videos and streaming entertainment became normal. Algorithms began deciding what appeared on their screens, pushing them to keep watching and scrolling.
Then, in 2007, the arrival of the smartphone took this transformation to another level. This pocket-sized device gave young people 24/7 access to the internet, apps, social media, and constant notifications. We can see this in ordinary moments. A familiar scene is young people waiting for a bus or sitting together in a café. Instead of talking, joking, or being bored together, they often look at their phones, connected to something or someone elsewhere. Sherry Turkle’s phrase “forever elsewhere” captures this shift in our attention and relationships.²
The generation that followed, Gen Alpha, born after 2010, has never known a world without smartphones, the internet, and constant connectivity. For them, the digital world is not something they have had to get used to. It has been part of their lives from the very start.
From a play-based to a phone-based childhood
Interestingly, while this transformation unfolded online, another shift took place in the physical world. Parents became more concerned about children’s safety and adopted a more protective approach. Compared with previous generations, unsupervised outdoor playdeclined, and children were given less independence. At the same time, computers, smartphones, and tablets became more attractive to children for spending their free time.
Here lies a striking paradox: while parents worked hard to reduce risks and increase supervision in the physical world, children were often given greater independence online. Many adults did not understand what was happening there, what the risks were, or how to set appropriate limits. Professor Jonathan Haidt¹ describes this transformation as the shift from a “play-based childhood” to a “phone-based childhood, ” changing not only how children spend their time, but also how they experience growing up.
Growing up in a digital world
To put the scale of this transformation into context, most children in the EU have their own smartphone by age 10, and nearly all 15-year-olds have a smartphone with internet access.³ About 97% of young people go online daily. Among 13- to 17-year-olds, 78% check their devices at least once an hour, and 46% say they do it almost all the time.³ In other words, most pre-teens and teenagers carry a device that gives them almost constant access to the digital world, along with all the opportunities and risks that come with it.
Digital platforms can help with learning, creativity, socialising, and building new skills. They let young people keep up with friends, make new connections, and feel like they belong. These opportunities come with serious risks. Children can encounte cyberbullying, grooming, pornography, dangerous challenges, pressure to spend money, and other harmful content. Social media can also influence how young people see themselves, others, and the world around them. Algorithms can repeatedly expose them to increasingly harmful or extreme content. The rise of the digital manosphere, for example, is bringing misogynistic ideas into the mainstream and potentially shaping boys’ and young men’s expectations of intimate and romantic relationships.
And then came AI
The possibilities and risks of the online world have entered a new phase with the rapid rise of artificial intelligence. AI can be a powerful tool, but it also introduces new safety concerns. These include deepfakes, AI-generated sexual or abusive images, convincing false information, and interactions with chatbots that can feel surprisingly human.
Parents now have to wonder what happens when children use AI not just for homework or information but also for advice or emotional support. A young person with a problem might talk to a chatbot instead of a parent, teacher, or friend. Since AI can respond in a warm, personal way, these chats might feel private, safe, and comforting.
What about mental health?
Good mental health helps children handle their feelings, deal with problems, make friends, learn, and reach their potential. Studies in Europe and North America show rising levels of anxiety, depression, and stress among children and teens. Today, about one in five young people in Europe is thought to have a diagnosable mental health condition.¹
So, what does the digital world have to do with it?Mental health difficulties have always existed, and adolescence is a vulnerable stage of development. However, in the early 2010s, several countries reported a significant rise in mental health problems among Gen Z, particularly pre-teens and teenagers. ¹ Rates of anxiety and depression increased, especially among girls, alongside reports of loneliness and difficulty connecting with peers. The EU report³ identifies social media pressure as one of the top five causes of mental health difficulties among minors. The World Health Organization recognises gaming addiction as a mental health disorder. Studies have linked excessive social media use to changes in brain development and capacity, as well as reduced impulse control.
It is important, however, not to reduce the causes of mental health difficulties to technology alone. A complex combination of biological, social, and environmental factors influences mental health. It is also not fixed; it changes throughout our lives, and digital experiences are one part of this complex picture. Talking to friends, finding supportive communities, learning, or simply having fun online can support well-being. Cyberbullying, harmful content, disrupted sleep, and constant social comparison can have the opposite effect.
Many children use the digital world safely, especially when they balance it with sleep, exercise, hobbies, school, and time with friends and family. But not every child starts out the same. A teenager who already feels anxious, has low self-esteem, or feels unsure online may be more at risk for harmful content, social comparison, or unhealthy online habits. Today, the question is not simply, also ask, feel?” “How much time is my child spending online?” We should “What are they doing there? Why are they doing it? And how is it making them feel?”
What parents can do
This fast-changing world means policymakers and tech companies need to build better protections and make digital platforms and AI safer for children. We’re not there yet. In the meantime, parents and other adults in children’s lives have an important role to play. We cannot keep children away from the digital world, but we can understand it better and help them navigate it more safely.
Stay curious and keep talking: Take an interest in the platforms, games, and apps your child uses. Ask about their experiences and create space for honest conversations.
Listen without judgment: Stay calm when your child shares something with you. They may not recognise a risky situation, but you may notice warning signs they have missed.
Learn together: Talk about privacy, respectful online behaviour, harmful content, and responsible sharing. Encourage children to question what they see and check information that does not feel right.
Set clear boundaries: Agree on age-appropriate rules around personal information, photos, screen use, content sharing, and online interactions.
Use safety and privacy tools: Review privacy settings together and use parental controls where appropriate. Revisit these settings as your child grows and technology changes.
Report suspicious activity: Report harmful or suspicious content and interactions when you encounter them, and encourage your child to do the same. Make sure they know how to block and report users or content that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.The most important thing parents can offer is not perfect knowledge of every new platform, trend, or technology. It’s being involved. Stay curious about your child’s digital world, keep conversations open, and make sure they know they can come to you when something does
not feel right.
References:
¹ Haidt, J. (2024). The anxious generation: How the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness. Penguin Press.
² Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. Penguin Press.
³ European Parliament. (2026). European Parliament resolution of 26 November 2025 on the protection of minors online (2025/2060(INI)) (C/2026/1708). Official
Journal of the European Union.
Originally published in International School Parents Magazine
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